What a good son, brother and grandson I thought I was being. My first Christmas living overseas and I had bought, wrapped up and packaged a parcel full of gifts for my family at Christmas. I had even gotten myself down the Post Shop to post it in time for it to arrive in the UK for Christmas!
Never mind that it was a blazing hot day and I could feel the chocolate bar in the package had gone soft. It would soon be sat in the freezing hold of an Airmail plane and would be restored to its former glory. I was definitely doing the right thing by sending these presents – wasn’t I?
Well, 25th December passed and my family still had not received their pressies! In fact, most of January passed. Sorry, all of January. And February. Their parcel was lost. Or stolen, more like. Everyone’s innocent until proven guilty, but it seems that the temptation of three NZ calendars, a DVD and a bar of New Zealand’s finest choc is a wee bit too much of a temptation for some postal workers. “How did they know what was in the package?” you ask. Because it was written on the side of the flipping envelope! On the customs slip. Next time I reckon I’ll just write ‘1/4 litre of urine, some fingernail clippings and last week’s TV guide’ on that thing.
Of course, there is the possibility that the parcel was genuinely lost by some honest accidental method. Such as ‘it fell out the back of the plane’. Or maybe a sniffer dog raided it at the airport, just before the poor creature found out what chocolate does to dogs? Or, at a push, the melted chocolate looked too much like a stool on the x-ray scanner to allow it entry into the UK?